Today, act of kindness you might think is a little odd. Because today, my act of kindness was to be honest to two people who have bullied me in the past.
Both people have been incredibly rude and thoughtless bordering on abusive.
The usual pattern of things is that they are rude. When I ask for an apology or any redress, they display out of control rage, say awful things and I retreat. Sometimes I retreat for years at a time.
I’ve been hiding out for about a week from both of them.
I love these two people, but I cannot tolerate their lack of responsibility for their rudeness, and of course, the subsequent battering. I sit here with two choices: 1) retreat until the scab forms or 2) state my injury and request an apology.
If I retreat, then I live in the resentment and anger. If I risk speaking my truth, I risk being cut in the jugular because that’s exactly where they go.
I made this challenge, to be kind every day. The kind thing to do is to muster my courage, and tell them that I need them to apologize.
Today’s small act of kindness was to simply express my truth.
I stated (in writing) what exactly I felt was rude and asked for them to apologize. I’ll let you know how it turns out.
8 responses so far ↓
1 April // Jan 2, 2008 at 10:57 pm
I can totally relate to this act of kindness. Mine yesterday was similar, although I didn’t think of it as a kindness till reading your post.
I am living with my ex-husband even though we’ve been separated several months. My act of kindness was finally disengaging from his drama. I stood up to him and refused to allow him to manipulate me into an argument, which means that I didn’t give into my shadow and get nasty, which is always the result of our arguments. I gave the whole family the kindness of not descending into my own shadow.
Thanks for helping me see it this way.
2 Vixen // Jan 3, 2008 at 6:30 am
Only day two and already I am learning more about myself. Thank you so much for starting this and inviting my to join.
Here is the link to the page where I am storing them. Stop by if you can.
http://vixensden.wordpress.com/everyday-kindness/
3 Admin // Jan 3, 2008 at 4:56 pm
April - I think that’s a huge kindness. I’m certain that you won’t have the presence of mind to do this every single time. But for yesterday, you did a tremendous kindness.
Vixen - Hurray! And the world is a bit kinder. Yeah!
4 Admin // Jan 3, 2008 at 4:57 pm
UPDATE: I received a pseudo-it’s still your fault apology from one person. Turns out that he wants a little space. Christ, maybe some decade he’ll figure out how to just ask for it. The other person, well, it’s a work in progress - as D. says, thank God they don’t live with us.
5 SmalltownRN // Jan 3, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Well try as I might I don’t think I accomplished a good deed today…..unless of course I can count the fact that I took my boys skating and let them laugh at me without getting mad….or better yet…not getting mad at the old lady who pushed her full grocery cart over my ankle…whilts I was pushing my cart with one hand and the other was carring a 10 gallon jug full of water and trying to maneuver my way through the doors…..
Guess I best keep trying……hope you are having a good day…
6 nikki // Jan 3, 2008 at 9:46 pm
My act of kindness for today was similar too. Sometimes being kind and truthful to yourself is indeed an act of kindness.
7 Jill // Jan 3, 2008 at 10:38 pm
This is so great. I would love to join in but fear I wouldn’t be able to commit daily.
I have been in your shoes but unfortunately take the easy way out by letting it build and then one day running off, never to return to that person again (and without explanation). You are truly doing an act of kindness, whether they can see if or not by helping them be better people.
8 Admin // Jan 4, 2008 at 4:10 pm
SmallTownRN - I think anytime we choose to be silent in our anger, we are doing a kindness to ourselves and the world. Those definitely count! I think the idea is to stay focused on kindness and make efforts every day, no matter how big or small.
Nikki - Good for you! How did it turn out?
Jill - Oh me too. I think it comes from being bullied as a kid. These people have so much power - and they are ridiculous. BTW, you can join us. The idea is to try - even 80% is a success, I think. Every single act counts and makes the world a better place.
Leave a Comment